Playing for Change

If you haven't heard of this group yet - check them out - Playing for Change. They travel around the world recording musicians singing the same song and then compile it together into one song. Their songs are messages of peace and are an attempt to bring together a global community of people for a more just and peaceful world. Got to love what they're doing!

General Updatedness

Yikes it's been awhile since the last post - time to fix that. I guess that goes to show that my senior year has been a bit hectic with wrapping projects up and starting the next step in this grand game of life. I graduated in December and have since been working at Penn State with two groups: AESEDA (The Alliance for Earth Science, Engineering, and Development in Africa) and CFS (The Center for Sustainability).

I recently helped organize a teacher's workshop with CFS designed to provide teachers with curriculum and materials revolving around zero energy homes. The curriculum will be fully completed this summer and will serve as a bridge between schools throughout the country and the Penn State Solar Decatholon Home: the MorningStar. For AESEDA, I have been developing a newsletter which highlights projects at Penn State focused on development work throughout Africa. Additionally, AESEDA is home to the Jamaica project which I have been involved with for the last 2 years, so I have been fortunate enough to continue my research and coordination work on that project. We are in the process of planning a hotel / tourist center on the site which will be used to educate both local Jamaicans and tourists alike about sustainability and how it relates to their personal lives. The hotel will give tourists the opportunity to stay in self-sustaining homes to demonstrate the practicality and possibility of sustainable designs. A biodiesel plant has been designed for the site and will soon be used to power vehicles to transport tourists to and from the site during their stay.

Although there's still lots on my plate, I have been happily kept busy over the past few months. But rest assured, life for Spud isn't slowing down any time too soon, I just decided to go to grad school this upcoming year in Sweden (off to the next adventure). I will be going to the Blekinge Institute of Technology for a Master of Science in Strategic Leadership towards Sustainability. It is located on the southern shore of Sweden, so fortunately I won't have to endure too frigid of temperatures during the winter. So if you're looking for a vacation at some point next year and want to visit - let me know!

With lots of decisions to be made (and some already made), I have been trying to balance my focus on the past, present, and future. I find that at times I can get so focused on the next adventure, that I forget to stop and live in the moment. Perhaps the realization that college is ending, and friends are beginning to head off in new directions, has brought this thought to the forefront.

I came across an interesting quote the other day that made me stop and think more about this:

"God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road."
~Isak Dinesen

I wonder how often we expect god to lay the path out ahead of us for the future. We really don't like the mystery of not knowing what's to happen next, humans innately like control. But the future is one thing we have not been able to fully control, regardless of how much time we try to control it. I think our need for control (regardless over what) can be a big hurdle for trying to live things according to god's terms. Whether control is rooted in fear or selfishness, attempting to 'control' our life can really mess up god's larger plan. Now I don't think this gives us a free check to not take initiative on matters and simply sit back for the ride, but rather, giving up complete control allows us to be more focused on the plans which god has already set in motion around us in the present. Our desire to control leads us to constantly focus on the future, rather than the present (which at one point was the future we wanted so much control over).

I recently realized how perfectly orchestrated the past 4 years have been for me at Penn State - with regard to friends, projects, relationships, and personal growth. Now although there was a chunk of 'stuff' that I had some control over - the majority of these 4 years were entirely out of my control at many times, such as:

• Being placed on a hallway freshman year with awesome friends who had similar passions and together were able to start up two clubs that brought the majority of our friends together.
• Stumbling across professors with similar interests as mine that eventually lead to the Jamaica project and my current job at Penn State.
• All of the relationships I've had at Penn State and the significance of what they have taught me about my goals and desires for my current relationship with Leah.
• Numerous international trips which arose from random events.

As I think back on the last 4 years, its hard not to smile and dwell on some of the most memorable moments. The past 4 years has been an incredible blessing and important step in defining who I am and what god has planned for me. Although there has been the standard amount of difficult times mixed throughout - they no longer seem like a thorn stuck in the middle of a grand plan. Each have been used to teach new lessons, and expose me to new ways of thinking, all of which I am extremely grateful for - yet I find it hard to define my last 4 years solely by those moments. There has been something far greater at work, and my friends and relationships represent stepping stones along that path.

Time for the next 4 years, time for the next set of stories and lessons. I plan on keeping this blog updated more frequently over the next few years - especially as I head over seas again.

dynamite to peace

So today I was driving and learned the following little bit about the Nobel Peace Prize on the radio. Apparently the guy who the prize is name after, Alfred Nobel, was the inventor of dynamite. Ironic isn't it. One day, Alred's brother died and the following day the newspaper ran his obituary, however the newspaper was misinformed and thought Alfred died. When Alfred read the newspaper the following morning, he saw his own obituary which claimed that the "merchant of death" had finally died. Extremely upset that this had become his reputation, Alfred Nobel spent the next few years donating millions of dollars towards humanitarian efforts. For his work, the Nobel Peace Prize was name after him.

What would you do if you read your obituary and saw how others viewed your life? Would you be proud of your accomplshments, of your relationships, of your attitudes?

I think many of us are guilty have thinking that we have our whole life ahead of us to make a change and that tomorrow is the perfect day to start. But what about today, what if we received a shock like Alfred and decided to make a difference now. In high school, I made a pact with a good friend that we were going to go and change the world after graduating from college. The more and more I approach that day, the more I realize that there is no need to wait until then, true chage can be made as soon as we begin to put others ahead of ourselves. I think service plays a large role in change.

I have been applying for Disney over the past few weeks (pray for me with that whole process) and I have been looking over interview questions and recently came across the one which asks for you to sum up yourself in three words. What would you choose?

A lot of us also feel like even if we wanted to get new words to describe ourselves, that it would be too hard. We have already built up this personalitly and character which our family and friends are used to. But if the 'merchant of death' was able to change his reputation to one which now universally symbolizes peace, I think there's a shot for the rest of us.

New Website!!

After quite a few weeks of editing and photoshopping, my new website is up and running. Check it out and let me know what you think:

www.personal.psu.edu/sfm5007

Defining UCM

So the beginning of the school year has started up again and we are already at another season of Penn State football. As the first friday of the Fall semester, tonight was particularly hectic along the streets of state college. For me, I was able to spend part of the night with some good friends and it was good just to relax amidst the busyness outside the apartment complex. As we started talking, we began to recount the stories and instances of how different friends slowly became integrated into our circle; and it got me thinking about leadership.

This semester will mark my first semester as a non designated leader for UCM, the group I am apart of at Penn State. For the past three years, I have spent a good portion of my time working on starting up the group and creating activities that encouraged community-building. At the time, I thought I knew what community-building meant, but tonight made me look a few layers deeper at what the phrase means.

During the years as a "leader" for the group, I was consumed with the details of the organization: making sure there was food for the meetings, updating the website weekly (or more likely monthly), and ensuring that activities were designed to include everyone. And although we as a leadership team talked about the purpose of UCM and why this group was important for people on campus, I never took the time to really understand why.

I've had life pretty easy, and it is something I am extremely grateful for, but at the same time it is something that can set me up for missing the struggles that others have had to deal with in their own lives. I started thinking tonight about what the acronym UCM means for me. In my few years with the group, UCM has represented a leadership oppurtunity, a chance to create environments that bring people together, and a place to laugh. UCM is a place where my friends are, where I can relate to, where I can have fun with others.

However, I have always been UCM. I joined UCM before I was officially a freshman. When I joined the leadership team, there was no prior student UCM group, I was part of forming it out of nothing. Essentially, I was always there, and over the years others seem to gravitate to the group and become integrated into our circle. I haven't really had to go searching for friends, they always came to me.

As we talked tonight about the various paths that our friends took to reach UCM, I began to realize that the acronym UCM means so much more to others in the group. For many of them, UCM has been an oppurtunity to connect with true friends for the first time at Penn State, a place where they could finally stop searching. I'm beginning to realize that UCM does not have a single definition.

It's funny how you often learn more about leadership when you step out of it for a moment. I think that is the challenge for leaders; to have the ability to willingly "step out" of leadership. The ability to realize the worth and importance of the group they are leading is essential. And the importance of the group is only as good as the impact the group has had on its members.

As my time at Penn State is slowly winding up (scary to think that, but it is), I'm beginning to see how the hundreds of paths and connections have criss-crossed over the years. Many of them go off in a random direction and die out, but there are those few trails that lead to lasting friendships and experiences. It's nice to know that all along God has been weaving the important paths into my web.

jump with whole

Wow, another month has gone by and the blog has slightly gotten away from me. As I look back through my blog and read through some of the entries, it's hard not to notice how fast time goes by. Many of these entries I can remember where I was as I wrote them and what the situation was that caused me to write that entry. It's amazing how the days add. And I find it interesting the ratio I spend between thinking and doing during those days as they build upon one another.

My past behavior has shown that I tend to be a fan of attempting to cram as much activity and 'doing' into the time I have. I get antsy without a project. I find that 90% of the time I'm sitting around drumming on my thigh, stomach, steering wheel, pillow, keyboard, or sink; drumming along to some song stuck in my head. Lately, I've had a John Mayer song playing to the beats of my relentless drumming. The song is called "Say" and is quite simple. Repeated continually throughout the song is the line

say what you need to say

It took me nearly an entire day of unconscious drumming before I began thinking upon the lyrics. What was it that I needed to say. Sometimes my focus on 'doing' distracts me to the point that I forget to 'think' about the doing.

Perhaps habit allows my activity to continue. Luckily one of my habits is music, and the lyrics behind them. I find that memorable moments and thoughts often arise due to hiccups among the habit. Music is always something happening as I think and do, but every now and then a song comes along which breaks my typical behavior because it contains some sort of hiccup. The song "Say" happened to be another one of those songs.

So I started thinking about what it was that I needed to say. Both to myself and others. So I started by going to youtube and began playing the song on repeat. After about the 50th time (ask Sauder, I played it a lot), the phrase "Jump with whole" began playing over and over in my head. To be honest, I didn't really know what it meant at first. But then it began to get clearer.

There's a lot currently going on in Spud World. With college graduation quickly approaching this december and the thought of deciding the next step, idea after idea seems to fly around within my head. Some sticking, others gone before I can remember them. And as I dwell over all the possibilities, I am reminded that regardless of the path chosen, the important first step is to jump with whole. A whole heart, a whole dream, and a whole focus.

On top of this, I have been doing a lot of thinking about friendships. From old friends to newer friends, from friends within projects to friends within family, from friends who you wish to spend every minute with to friends you are struggling to find the connecting thread. That's how my engineering brain began to work, splitting up groups of people to be classified within different 'friend groups.' And different people have different needs. The problem however is that I slowly began creating different ways of handling friendships among the different groups. Then 'jump with whole' started floating into every thought. Perhaps rather than spending the time analyzing the various befriending techniques per group, we should just jump with whole.

When I really think about it, I know what I should be doing with those connected to Spud World. Unfortunately, it tends to be extremely hard to just say what we need to say.

you better know that in the end
it's better to say too much
than to never say what you need to say again

even if your hands are shaken
and your faith is broken
even as the eyes are closin
do it with a heart wide open

This then reminds me of one other phrase which has been pasted to a wall beside my desk for the past few years. 'Love. Life is too short.'

Back in the States

So it's day 2 of being back in the states and jet-lag has yet to hit me. I have spent every minute since I've been back working on compiling the video from the trip and I'll just say that it is quite spectacular. It's been great to work on all the video because it has allowed me to skim through all the places we visited really quickly, and it is just incredible how many sites we were able to see in our short time.

On the flight back from Jordan, I was able to request the very last row in the plane, and happily people-watched from my back seat for a good portion of the flight. Throughout three-quarters of the trip, one Jordanian kid entertained himself by walking up and down the aisles non-stop. When flight attendants would serve food, he would follow behind them. At night when people were sleeping, he would pretend to sneak past everyone in the dark. When people slowly began waking up, he picked up the speed and threw in a few sprints up and down the aisles. He was having a blast and was able to entertain himself for 12 hours in a plane.

As I sat there watching him race through the plane, I couldn't help but think that a kid is a kid, no matter what country or culture they grew up in. And their top priority is to have fun. When we were visiting a lot of the ancient ruins, we would frequently come across kids trying to sell postcards or rocks to the visitors. It was sad that these kids had to spend their days trying to make money from tourists, but then I watched more closely. And despite the fact that these kids were caught up in the tourism of their home, they still made sure to have fun. The little boys selling donkey rides in Petra would race back and forth on the dirt roads, laughing with one another as they went. As we walked by one of the many side stands selling jewelry, a mother and her 1 year old daughter sat to the side. The daughter was fascinated with the blue stone jewelry and kept trying different pieces on. She was by far more interested in it then many of the tourists, yet she probably spent most of her days sitting at that same stand looking at the same pieces. Driving from town to town, we saw numerous pick-up soccer games taking place on the side of the road, yet none relied on an actual net or ball. At a rest stop outside of Amman, three siblings were determined to mount an unusually tall see-saw in a little park. After numerous failed attempts, they resorted to the metal slide. Climbing up it backwards with their bare feet, we were amazed that their feet didn't burn.

And kids in Africa played the same games. In Australia and Jamaica as well. Kids are consistently kids, it's a nice common comfort when traveling between different cultures.

Perhaps I notice that kids are consistent because I've been one. I haven't exactly reached adult yet and I'm still finishing up being a student. Perhaps it's easier to pick common traits out after you've gone through that stage. Regardless, it's nice to know that there are still traits that can unite cultures. Sometimes it feels that people, or perhaps Americans, don't take the time to really understand and appreciate different cultures. It's easy to ignore parts of the rest of the world because we are isolated by oceans and make do in our own little section of earth. Yet Jordan was a completely different scenario, with so many countries surrounding its' borders, Jordanians had to have an understanding of many different cultures. I know that for me before the Jordan trip, I knew very little about Middle Eastern culture, it's amazing what 2.5 weeks in Jordan did.

One of the neat things about college today is that many of your friends end up traveling and studying in some other country. Although traveling to every country in the world would be an awesome accomplishment, the odds are slightly unlikely, so it's so nice to have friends report back and share about their experience. Share about the dress and the food and the customs and sports. To bring back pictures and stories. In doing so, I have been exposed to more cultures and countries than I would have ever guessed before coming to college. The next step is to take the lessons and appreciation learned from various people's travels, and apply them to our own lives and people within them. But that's another blog post...